“And the old woman forgot to die” was a memorable sentence in a book by Lisa See. I had a grandmother about whom one could have said that sentence.
My suffering aunt who lived with Grandmother for sure caught herself thinking so. Being a saint, she immediately felt very guilty—but still, that thought must have crossed her mind.
Grandmother knew that she was difficult to maintain, but she still found excuses why my aunt should be more patient and loving. She often reminded us that when my aunt was three years old, she had an ear inflammation, asking “You know how many nights I sat next to her bed?” And the more nights one suggested the more pleased Grandmother was. Not only did Grandmother spend sleepless nights with her three-year-old daughter, but she also traveled to Vienna to a famous ear specialist! All that in the year 1912!
But the topic of my little story is really her outlook for the future.
She always had something meaningful to wait for. For example, she must be alive in April because in April her niece would visit from New York.
So, this wait filled her with purpose and somehow assured her that she would be alive in April. But when she became 103 years old, she finally forgot to live.
Am I my old grandmother?
I don’t live with my daughter because I don’t have a daughter. I don’t even have a niece in New York. So, what will give me the wish to live til April?
I think that if I am in good health, I can try to ignore my chronological age. I don’t need a niece in New York. I can just continue to do what I do. My wish for the future is not to be interrupted in my way of life.
I hope for decent health, I hope to keep my interest in all things human, and I hope my health wishes create a protecting umbrella above my friends and family. Together we should avoid thinking about age and remember that as long as we forget to die, we can enjoy the present.
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